We’ve all heard it a thousand times: Sauvignon Blanc with goat’s cheese. Pinot Noir with duck. Cabernet Sauvignon with steak. The classic rules of food and wine pairing have been drilled into us by wine books, sommeliers, and restaurant menus for decades.

But here’s the thing. In real life, those pairings don’t come up nearly as often as we pretend. Most of us aren’t sitting down to a five-course dinner carefully crafted by a Michelin-starred chef. We’re opening a bottle at a friend’s house, clinking glasses in the pub, or celebrating with colleagues after a big win. And in those moments, what really matters isn’t whether the tannins match the fat content of the lamb shank. It’s the people you’re with.

That’s why I’ve started thinking less about food pairings and more about personality pairings. The idea is simple: don’t ask, “What are we eating?” Ask, “Who’s at the table?” Because the truth is, wine is a social glue. It reflects the energy of the room, the mood of the evening, and even the quirks of the people you’re drinking it with.

Why I’ve Gone Off Food Pairing

Before anyone throws a cork at me, let me say this: food and wine matching can be magical. A crisp Chablis with oysters? Gorgeous. A bold Malbec with steak? Absolutely. But most of the time, those “perfect” moments don’t happen.

Think back to your last dinner party or night out. Did anyone honestly comment on how well the wine matched the food? Not the food itself or the wine itself, but the actual pairing? For me, it’s rare. What people remember is who they were sat with, the jokes told, or the story that went off on a tangent.

And maybe that’s the point. Wine isn’t just chemistry and flavour wheels. It’s atmosphere. It’s the people around the table. If the wine is enjoyable and the conversation is good, no one cares if your Albariño technically clashes with the fish sauce.

So I’ve stopped worrying about it. Instead, I’ve started matching wine to people. And honestly? It works better.

The Personalities I Pour For

Here are a few characters you might recognise – I know I see them at most dinners.

The Adventurer

Always first to book the new pop-up restaurant, or back from a trip somewhere obscure you hadn’t even heard of. For them, the wine has to be equally bold. I’ll bring out an orange wine, a pét-nat, or something from Georgia or South Africa. These bottles spark conversations just by being different, which is exactly what the adventurer thrives on.

The Comfort Seeker

This friend sticks to the same order every time. They want reassurance, not risk. Their wine should be soft and soothing – a rounded Merlot, a buttery Chardonnay, or a mellow Rioja Crianza. Pour them something familiar and they’ll sink right into it like a favourite chair.

The Show-Off

We all have one. They swirl the glass like they’re auditioning for MasterChef, and suddenly you’re getting notes of “forest floor” whether you asked for them or not. For them, only the classics will do: Burgundy, Barolo, wines with heritage and layers to keep them talking. I let them have their moment – it usually entertains the rest of the table too.

The Life of the Party

They’re halfway through a story before you’ve even sat down. Loud, funny, always in the middle of things. The answer here is bubbles, always. English sparkling, Prosecco, Crémant, even Lambrusco – anything with fizz matches their energy. And the great thing about sparkling wine is it gets everyone else in the mood too.

The Deep Thinker

This is the one who puts on the obscure playlist, lights a candle, and talks philosophy two glasses in. For them, Pinot Noir or Nebbiolo are perfect. Wines that reward slow sipping and long conversations, lingering in the glass just like their train of thought.

The Crowd Pleaser

The person who just wants everyone else happy. They’re not here to dominate the evening, just to keep it flowing smoothly. Their wine has to be universally likeable – Garnacha, New World Pinot, or a crisp Sauvignon Blanc. Easy to pour, easy to love.

Why It Feels Better This Way

Pairing wine with people takes away the stress. You don’t stand in the shop panicking over whether the Sauvignon will work with the sauce. You think about who you’re drinking it with instead. It also makes the whole experience more fun – telling someone, “this bottle is so you” is a great conversation starter.

And honestly, it gets back to what wine is really about. It’s not a science test or a game of right and wrong. It’s connection. It’s sharing something you enjoy with people who matter.

So Next Time…

When you’re choosing a bottle, forget the menu for a second. Look around the table. Who’s going to love bubbles? Who will appreciate something unusual? Who just wants a glass that feels easy and familiar? Match the wine to the person, and you’ll never go far wrong.