Ah, the great British family Christmas – a time of turkey, tinsel, and wildly clashing personalities. Every family has its unique cast of characters, and let’s be honest, Christmas wouldn’t be the same without them. But what if you could pair these personalities with the perfect wine? Here’s a playful guide to matching your family members with their festive tipple.
The Matriarch: The Queen of Christmas Organisation
She’s been planning Christmas since Easter, knows everyone’s dietary requirements, and has a strict schedule for when the turkey hits the table.
Wine Match: Chablis
Classic, structured, and utterly dependable, just like her spreadsheets. A crisp Chablis pairs beautifully with turkey and keeps her calm through the inevitable family chaos.
The Dad Joker: King of Cringe
Armed with the worst cracker jokes and a Santa hat he’s had since 1985, he’s here to make everyone groan and laugh in equal measure.
Wine Match: Shiraz
Bold, spicy, and impossible to ignore – much like his sense of humour. A hearty Shiraz brings warmth to the table, even if the jokes don’t.
The Prosecco Aunt: Life of the Party
She’s the one who shows up with a bottle of fizz and a karaoke machine, determined to get everyone on their feet.
Wine Match: Prosecco
Sparkling, fun, and ready to get the festivities started, Prosecco is her perfect partner. Bonus points if you add a splash of Chambord for extra flair.
The Moaning Teen: Too Cool for Christmas
Rolling their eyes at the carol singing and glued to their phone during dinner, they’re reluctantly present.
Wine Match: Pinot Grigio
Light, neutral, and unassuming, Pinot Grigio is the choice for someone who doesn’t want to commit to anything too “serious” but still wants to look the part.
The Over-Enthusiastic Cousin: Christmas Superfan
They’ve got their Christmas jumper on, know all the words to Fairytale of New York, and will 100% suggest a group photo in matching pyjamas.
Wine Match: English Sparkling Wine
Effervescent, bubbly, and undeniably festive, a British sparkling wine like Nyetimber or Chapel Down is perfect for someone who embraces the season with unrelenting cheer.
The Snoozy Grandad: Dozing in the Corner
He’s had his Christmas pudding, pulled his cracker, and now he’s snoring through the Queen’s Speech.
Wine Match: Port
A rich, warming glass of Port is the perfect accompaniment to his afternoon nap. Bonus: it also pairs wonderfully with a cheeseboard if he wakes up peckish.
The Foodie Sibling: Knows Too Much About Everything
They’ll critique the roast potatoes and insist the gravy needed more reduction, but they’re also the first to grab seconds.
Wine Match: Viognier
Complex and full of flavour, Viognier’s floral and fruity notes will impress even the most discerning palate. Plus, it pairs like a dream with roast turkey and trimmings.
The Wildcard: Anything Could Happen
You never know what they’ll bring to the table – literal or figurative. They’re as likely to arrive with a flaming pudding as they are with a last-minute gift wrapped in tin foil.
Wine Match: Orange Wine
Unique, unpredictable, and a bit of a conversation starter, orange wine matches their quirky vibe perfectly. It’s not for everyone, but that’s the point.
What’s your family’s wine personality this Christmas? Whether you’re dealing with a Prosecco Aunt or a Shiraz-loving Dad Joker, there’s a wine to suit every character at your festive table. Cheers to a merry and personality-packed Christmas!
